4 Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Depression

Living with depression is a difficult, daily challenge. Helping someone who is struggling with depression can be equally hard. You may find yourself asking what to do or how you can help, but don’t know where to start.

Here are four starting points for offering assistance.

1. Learn the Symptoms

Each person struggling with depression can exhibit different symptoms. These symptoms can significantly impact school, work, and even basic day to day functioning. For some, it can affect their personal relationships due to the mood changes.

Many symptoms of depression are often dismissed due to lack of understanding. Knowing what depression symptoms are allows you to gain a better understanding of what that person is going through.

Common symptoms to be aware of:

• Sadness or hopelessness

• Anger, irritability, or frustration that is out of character

• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities

• Over or under sleeping

• Lack of energy — the smallest of tasks seems daunting

• Mystery aches and pains

• Loss of appetite

• Anxiety

• Difficulty concentrating, brain fog, or slow processing

• In extreme cases, suicidal thoughts or feelings of not wanting to be alive

2. Have the Difficult Conversations

Initiating a conversation with someone dealing with depression can be a rough step. You might not want to aggravate the situation, but you also don’t want to ignore it either. Good starters include:

• “I’m concerned about…”

• “I have noticed some differences in ___ behavior and want to check in.”

• “I’ve noticed ____ lately. How are you doing?”

After you’ve opened up the conversation, you can then ask more directed questions.

• “When did these feelings start?”

• “Did anything happen to cause these feelings?”

• “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

• “Have you considered getting help?”

As you progress in conversation, be sure to meet them where they are with, support and help them know they are not alone.  Help them know that they make sense to you and offer whatever help you can give. Be careful with judgment or insinuate that this is in their head.  Avoid false niceties.

3. Show Support

Depression can be a long, dark road for many people. It’s important to remember that it isn’t anyone’s fault. It is biological issue and it is not easy to get through.

Being a shoulder to lean on and offering your support can be a glimmer of hope. Be open and willing to listen when they need to talk. Listen actively and carefully. Don’t judge them for what they say.

Provide positive reinforcement. They will likely be their own worst enemy and critic. When they’re down on themselves, spend time listening and connecting with them.  It might be okay to share with them your genuine positive experience with them.  Be careful offering proof that things are ‘not really that bad’ with examples. It is important we validate our persons experience. 

Ask if there is something you can do to help.  Some examples might include, offering a schedule for meals, participation in  social engagements, joining them for hikes or outdoor walks, and help with household chores. The most helpful opportunity we can offer is connection time.  Let’s do… is much more helpful than Do…!

Depending on how they’re feeling, make plans to bring them out for a while. Encourage self care or setup a self care fix with them for a buddy date.

4. Encourage Seeking Help

Denial is a common experience with those experiencing depression.   Whether they can’t admit it to themselves, or they’re too embarrassed to admit it to those around them, this denial can interfere with recovery.

There is still a stigma surrounding depression, so some people may be ashamed to seek help and try to deal with matters on their own. Depression will rarely improve without proper treatment and may actually worsen if unaddressed.

Check in with them and let them know what you’re observing. Explain that depression is a medical condition. It isn’t a flaw or weakness.  Depression can be confusing because it creates a mood shift in the person experiencing it.  So many times in our life we have been able to alter our mood with an activity or ‘picking ourselves up’!  Depression is not an emotion.  It is a medical condition that effects mood. 

Encourage professional treatment for your person and, provide resources, or help them prepare for help.

If you want to learn more about how you can help, or if you know someone who needs depression therapy, contact us for more information. A sliding scale is offered to those in need.